This is the time of year when I reminisce about my father's tendency to use the calendar (as opposed to the thermometer) to control the central heating. It didn't matter how much I implored "Please, sir, I want some more heating", the answer was always "It's not October yet".
OK, I'm probably exaggerating a bit. My father didn't look like Harry Secombe any more than I resembled the young Mark Lester. (I did once meet Ron Moody - his wife was a Pilates teacher - but I digress).
It wasn't until I was a teenager (by which time I looked even less like the angelic Mark Lester, sadly) that we got central heating. Before then we enjoyed a heady mix of coal, electric and paraffin heaters which, thinking back, makes it seem remarkable that I'm still alive. I would go on to tell you about the ice that used to form on the inside of my bedroom window but I fear it would start to sound like the Monty Python "Four Yorkshiremen" sketch.
All of which, as the price of gas and electricity rises in the UK, I feel qualifies me to offer some free advice on how to keep warm this autumn:
When you're at home and feeling cold, go outside. When you come back in you'll feel lovely and toasty for, well, minutes. Repeat as often as required.
If you have an office you can go to, go to it. Yes, I know you haven't been there for so long that you've forgotten where it is but the chances are it will be warm and it's free. In fact, you get paid to go there. Who knew?
Seek out one of those fine art galleries that have appeared on some high streets in recent years. I wandered into my local one recently and the two young arts graduates working there were so delighted to have an actual person to talk to that they wouldn't let me leave for hours. I warmed up beautifully and they even offered me free champagne. You might have to purchase a Roy Lichtenstein numbered edition print to get out though, so be warned.
Do an online Pilates class from home. Enjoy a thorough warm-up before working those all-important core muscles so you'll get warmer and stronger simultaneously. The afterglow will last for hours, meaning you can turn the heating off and will therefore probably save the cost of the Pilates class, making it effectively free.
Consider yourself invited to one of my online classes. For more details and to book a class, click here to go to the online classes page of my website.
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